Self-reflection to gain control over your emotions

You may have experienced situations in which certain triggers suddenly cause you to be emotionally affected, temporarily throwing you off balance. You feel uncomfortable because, in that moment, the emotion is intensely present, and you feel it in every cell of your body. Think of fears, traumas, and pains in this context. Ideally, you want to run away or disappear... anything to regain control over these emotional triggers. I will guide you through an example.

Imagine waking up and feeling excited about the day ahead. You have a few appointments scheduled, and you're in a good mood. The first conversation with a colleague goes well, and you're cheerful. However, after the team meeting, you notice that you're emotionally off-balance, experiencing uncertainty. Suddenly, your thoughts become heavier, and self-doubt creeps in. Recognizing this immediately, before entering a third conversation, you decide to zoom in on what's hindering you. Taking 10 minutes for yourself, you reflect on what happened during the team meeting. As you distance yourself from the situation, it becomes apparent that the emotion stemmed from the trigger of not feeling good enough. You choose to let go of these emotions and opt for a positive affirmation: "I am good as I am." At a later moment, you delve into where this trigger originated and what the lesson is for yourself and others. You relax and continue with your (work)day.

The first step when you become aware of your triggers is to gain control of your emotions in the moment itself (at work, at home, or elsewhere). The second step, once you have control over your emotions, is to apply a moment of self-reflection to gain insights. I will take you through the 6 tips to gain control of your emotions during an emotional trigger.

Step 1. The six tips to gain control of your emotions in the moment:

1. Breathe 5 times (or more) in and out. Focus on your breathing to stay in the moment.
2. Feel the emotions and ask yourself: What do these emotions tell me?
3. Create a positive affirmation if your thought is negative. Example: I can do it!
4. Repeat the positive affirmation at least 3 times in a row.
5. Feel the positive thought completely change in your body.
6. Get to work on what is possible.

After the situation has passed, and you have gained control of your emotions using the above tips, engage in self-reflection. Through self-reflection, you look back on your own experience to learn from it. By looking at yourself in the mirror, you can choose to handle situations differently. This way, you develop greater awareness. The greater your awareness, the more overview you have, and the easier situations become for you.

Step 2. The 10 steps for self-reflection on triggers:

1. Schedule weekly time for a self-reflection moment and ensure you are not disturbed.
2. Sit in a comfortable place, close your eyes, and breathe in and out 5 times.
3. Feel the calm coming over you and continue to breathe in and out for a few minutes.
4. Zoom in on the situation where you experienced the emotional trigger and ask yourself: What do these emotions tell me? And why is it okay for me to emotionally experience this?
5. Let insights from your subconscious come up. Don't force anything; just keep breathing in and out. Take all the time you need.
6. Write down your insights: insights into the theme of the trigger, what these emotions wanted to tell you, where this situation originated, and what you want to change.
7. Once you know what you might want to do differently, create a practical action for yourself.
8. Put this action in your agenda so that, in addition to the insight, you integrate this action into your life.
9. Close the self-reflection session with what you are grateful for.
10. Breathe in and out 3 times as deeply as possible. Open your eyes and continue with your day.

If you apply this self-reflection, it will be easier for you to let go of an emotional trigger.

What to do after the self-reflection step?
Everything is energy, and as a human, you consciously do 5% of what you do. The other 95% is in your subconscious, of which you are not aware. You can compare it to an iceberg: the visible part represents only a fraction of the whole, while the invisible part is the largest. The conscious and the subconscious together form the core of your psyche and soul, as described by Carl Jung, the founder of psychology. To be rid of your triggers, it is essential to bring the 95% of the subconscious to the surface. You may be able to bring up parts of that 95% yourself, but there is often more beneath.

Why it is important for you to address the core of triggers?
Deep within that 95%, there are emotional triggers, blockages, illusions, beliefs, and stored traumas and pains. In addition to self-reflection (to bring the subconscious within you to the surface), it is important to address the core of these triggers, blockages, and illusions where they originated on an energetic level, so that: 

• You are freed from fears, traumas, pains, and illusions.
• You remain emotionally balanced in any situation.
• You can focus on what you want to achieve (your desires and dream goals).

Because if you skip this step, you unconsciously attract people who still resonate with the triggers based on your energy. You'll notice this because in certain areas of your life, you find yourself stuck in vicious cycles, no matter what you try or do. And you want to connect with the right situations and people that align with who you are, to fulfill your desires and goals, and to experience even more (work) happiness. If you take on this step with me, everything changes in every aspect of your life.

You can only change yourself by addressing your subconscious.
When your subconscious is in balance, everything changes in your life.

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