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Overcome domination and narcissism: how do you do that?


Omgaan met dominantie of narcisme hoe doe je dat

Do you want to know how to handle domineering behaviour and narcissism better? Would you like to stand strong and empowered whatever the situation and would you like to experience more freedom every day so you can build your successful future? In this blog I will tell you the 10 steps you can apply in practice to make an impact and remain empowered so you can create your best life.

Wat is a narcissist?

A narcissist is sensitive, insecure, fearful and does not love himself. That's consistent with the partner he chooses. The partner is chosen very carefully. The partner feel a deep love for the narcissist. A narcissist is extremely insecure and compensates by developing an inflated ego. He shows this by displays of power and his need to coercively impose his will. Through manipulation, the narcissist keeps his partner in a constant state of uncertainty. Because the partner is sensitive, it is easy for the narcissist to manipulate the 'victim'. The narcissist exhausts the partner, in search of the love he himself is missing. Truths are twisted because a narcissist cannot handle criticism.

How come you, as a sensitive person, recognise narcissistic traits yourself?

People frequently ask me about recognizing narcissistic behaviour in themselves, and tell me how shocked they are. For example, the reason why highly sensitive people have characteristics of narcissistic behaviour is because they have a domineering or narcissistic father or mother. You are spoon-fed patterns from birth up to and including the age of 7, so you have automatically subconsciously adopted the behaviour of your father or mother. This is in combination with good empathy, which is a characteristic of a sensitive person. By becoming aware of this, you can decide to tackle and change your patterns.

Let me give you an example: Jasmijn grew up with a domineering father and a highly sensitive mother. Jasmine has unknowingly adopted her father's temper tantrums as a defence mechanism when she feels wronged. Jasmijn notices that a colleague is being cut down to size by another. Jasmijn is triggered by injustice, which makes her angry with the colleague and makes it clear that cutting another person down to size is just not on. It makes her blood boil, and she immediately runs away to avoid a scene. After creating some distance, her emotions subside and she wonders how she can remain empowered, even when triggered by the injustice, without being overwhelmed by her emotions.

Why do domineering or narcissistic people cross your path?

Domineering and sensitive people are polar opposites. As a result, they attract each other like a magnet, because what one complements what the other does not have. Once the lessons have been learned, you, a sensitive person, can decide, for example, to only interact with like-minded people. You have the freedom to manage things however you like.

What steps can you take to create your best life?

Of course you want to move on after domineering and narcissistic abuse. But you often get stuck in a vicious circle of questions. Don’t stay stuck in a rut, seek help from people you can rely on and feel comfortable with.

From my personal experiences I have discovered 10 steps and if you apply them it is possible to create your best life. Based on the EMPOWER model, the 10 steps to empower yourself in any situation with domineering or narcissistic behaviour are:

  1. Where are you now? Getting started
  2. Analyse your patterns, attitude and behaviour
  3. Where do you want to be? Write down your goals 
  4. mE First
  5. Adopt a positive Mindset
  6. Be Proactive in every situation
  7. Overcome limiting Beliefs
  8. Work on your inner Resistance
  9. Emotions in balance
  10. Celebrate Results, every day

Where to start?

The most important step is to become aware of the other person’s behaviour and also of your own behaviour. When you decide you're all set and ready for your new life, start working with the steps above. In the book, 10 steps to Overcome Domination, learn how to apply the EMPOWER model step by step in your life so domineering and narcissistic behaviour no longer affects you, so you can stay emotionally balanced.

What next?

Maybe you really want to continue to develop and to create your best life, but you are stuck. You find it difficult to transform emotions, pains and that one specific trigger or block on your own. You’re stuck in a vicious circle. 

As an experienced coach, I can help you to become aware of behaviour that you cannot see, in a coaching process of a several sessions. I, more than anyone, know how to get to the core of your problems quickly and effectively. People often decide for themselves what the core problem is. In retrospect, the core problem turns out to be something else. In a coaching session we will work on your core problem, so that you are immediately empowered and can then deal with your thoughts, attitude and behaviour. 

Are you ready to start dealing with domineering and narcissistic behaviour and would you like the right guidance to achieve your goals and best life? Book a free intake session and experience for yourself how this session impacts you.

You can’t connect the dots looking forward:
you only connect  them looking backwards.

- Steve Jobs

Do you want to know more about how the book, 10 Steps to Overcome Domination came about? Click here to access the YouTube video. When you order the book, you will receive a free half hour coaching session with concrete steps, tips and tools to help you get started. After your order, let me know in an email that you want to use the half hour of free coaching.

Order the book

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